Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
worst night to have a conscience
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
