Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
