Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Randomize
