i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
