Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Small penises have feelings too.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
