at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
She bit a glass in half.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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