The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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