I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
