To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize