I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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