Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
