but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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