those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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