Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I think my vagina is haunted
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
