At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Randomize
