you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
