"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
