i jhust puked up my retainher.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
