batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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