how can u be prego again
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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