if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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