The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
