why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
