why didn't you poke me back
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
