Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
