dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
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