He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
