Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
