It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I hate all girls vehemently.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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