Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
