lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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