is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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