I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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