She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
