evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
