This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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