Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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