He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Dear god my vagina.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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