I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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