Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize