I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
