Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
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