How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
