WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
