Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
