Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
