Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
