How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
