Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
