On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
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