Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
