i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Randomize
