hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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