you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
