you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
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